"They Couldn't See It Coming. It Was Corruption As Usual"

"Seven years later they were still borrowing their way out of the debt crisis..."

"U.S. interest rates were at .25% while everyone waited for the economy to float back from China. Between 2000 and 2012, 17 factories per day went overseas, amid constant debate as to why there were no more good jobs. EconoDunces couldn't figure it out. After 50 tax inversions in 10 years, the Sock-Puppet-in-Chief put an end to that chicanery. That's enough of that, he said."

"Strangely enough, the official unemployment rate kept falling even as the employment rate for 25-54 years was at an all time low. EconoDunces called it 'really early retirement', a demographic phenomenon. No one questioned it."

"The government borrowed 2.5% of GDP to achieve a GDP 'growth' rate of 0%. It was corruption as usual."  

"U.S. stocks languished at levels reached two years earlier, as institutions liquidated for a year straight. Corporations laid off employees by the tens of thousands to offset an inexplicable revenue collapse. Then they used leveraged stock buybacks to paper over profit per share and fund the insider mass exodus. All other global risk markets had rolled over months, years, and decades earlier"

"The second largest economy in the world was in full implosion mode with exports collapsing -25% in the most recent month. Wealthy Chinese were fleeing to Vancouver and New Zealand, keeping the two last markets well bid"

"At the end of the largest money printing experiment in human history, Japan had lost total control of their currency, as $3 trillion of carry trade unwound overnight. Literally" 

"Oil had rebounded to the mid-$30s due to short-covering, amid record global production and stagnant demand. The world was producing two supertankers of surplus oil per day, while trying to reach an agreement to "freeze" production at maximum output and expecting higher prices any time now"

"By the end, gamblers were all crowded into 3x overvalued recession stocks as corporate profits plummeted -9% year over year, although no one expected a recession"

"Because no one saw it coming"