"Beam Me Up, Scotty"

"And then President Trump built his "base" the old fashioned way - cage match."

"The RepubliCon' warlords tried to stop him but they no longer had a 'base'. Once Nascar endorsed Trump, it was all over"

Human beings are a clever bunch...Clever enough to con themselves over and over again, but not clever enough by half when it really matters. I was about to launch into another diatribe on the logic behind cloning sheep, building human-like robots (when we already have robot-like humans), virtual reality when we have this thing called real reality - and otherwise searching for life on barren planets five million light years away, while this perfectly good one turns to shit in broad daylight...

"When I was growing up we had this thing called real reality..."

And then this beyond-all-asinine article caught my eye, since I'm a big Eagles fan... 

Apparently ("Take It To the Limit" singer) Randy Meisner's wife was accidentally shot last night. According to the police, she was moving a long rifle out of the closet when an object fell on the trigger and blew her head off. It was ruled an accident by the police. She was assassinated by a bookshelf or some other "object". 

And then we learn that by sheer coincidence, earlier in the day, police responded to a call from Mrs. Meisner reporting domestic abuse from her drunken husband. 

"The bookshelf assassin strikes again".

We don't need to find another planet, we need to find another species.