"Locked in their rat race to nowhere, they were too self-absorbed and high on hubris to notice that it had all been falling apart in broad daylight. In their relentless quest for more, they drove themselves straight off a cliff, with no safety net. Three serial bubbles in a row somehow hadn't alerted them to the fact that they were not exceptional, nor immune to reality. Their addiction to all things fake and to lying circus buffoons was their ultimate undoing. Throughout, they had resisted any and all calls for restraint or conservation, amid mass consumption denialism. In doing so, they inconveniently consumed their own future at 0% interest; nevertheless they were utterly shocked and outraged when it all ended instantaneously."
"Their entire way of life was re-priced overnight in the S&P futures, when a Skynet casino algorithm realized there was no one left to rob. The 'Momentum BUY' function which had been used for six years straight, was replaced by the 'Momentum SELL' function, which unfortunately had never been tested, and was prone to flash crash 1000 points without warning."
"Carbon plummeted. Who knew that watching self-absorbed consumption zombies drive themselves off a cliff, would be the best solution? The status quo killed the status quo, while oblivious Ponzi billunaires extolled the virtues of 'Scuba Rice'. Fauxtards were way too excited with their best-selling coloring books, to have any idea about anything..."
"The Idiocracy blamed their beloved circus clowns for convincing them to bend over and shove their heads up their own asses. They took a while to calm down."
"The denialists were never the problem, they were the solution. The bloggers were just getting in the way of the plan..."